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In Texas ...


1.   Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

2.   Racoons test your watermelon crop, and will let you know when they're ripe.

3.   Nothing can kill a mesquite tree.

4.   "Onced" and "twiced" are words.

5.   Fire ants consider your flesh to be a picnic site.

6.   "Cold beer" is one word (pronounced co-beer).   To ask someone if he wants a cold beer, you say, "Y'ona co-beer?"

7.   We do not talk with an accent.

8.   "Fixin' to" is one word.

9.   Back'ards and for'rds means I know everything about a particular subject.

10.   A group of fish is a "mess."

11.   "Gimme some sugar" does not mean "Pass the sugar bowl."

12.   Cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers from a country store constitute a gourmet meal.

13.   "Purty near" is the opposite of "a right fur piece."

14.   Distance is measured in minutes.

15.   There are four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.

16.   There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

17.   We use a football schedule to pick the date of our weddings.

18.   You will not be accepted unless you correctly pronounce "Mexia."

19.   The true value of a parking space is not determined by its distance from the door, but by the availability of shade.

20.   You will often find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.

21.   "Y'all" is singular; "all o' y'all" is plural.

Texas pagan flag     The Wiccan Rede (Texas Style):

    "If it ain't gonna hurt nobody, hell, g'on 'n do it ... y'ona co-beer?"


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